I’m gonna keep it real with y’all. Love bombing is legitimately the most intoxicating thing that has ever happened to me. It’s happened to me more than once. It’s happened to me with more than one person. I am in fact a magnet for toxic people and they know where my sweet spot is. Well they knew…. I’m sure as hell not that person anymore.
So listen….during this love bombing phase at the beginning of a relationship with a toxic person they are watching, listening and mirroring you (more on mirroring later). The goal of this exercise is to make you believe that they are your soulmate, your kindred spirit, your everything. They will tell you that you are best thing to ever happened to them. You are their Mona Lisa. No one has ever made them feel the way that you do. They have never connected with anyone on this level before. You are absolutely perfect. They’re taking you nice places and buying you nice things and it just all feels like a fairy tale and blah blah blah blah blah…..It sounds like total bullshit and that’s because it fucking is!!!!
You felt so comfortable that you spilled all your guts. All your dirty little secrets. They know your Daddy abandoned you. They know about your past relationships. They know your high school superlatives dammit you have told this person every damn thing and what do you know about them? All you know about them is that they love what you like, their favorite food is the same as yours, they want to travel to the same places you do, their hope and dreams are on point with yours and you guys are exactly the same in every way right?!?
It ain’t right!!! There is no fucking way this is a real thing. The truth is you were so busy enjoying this massive amount of attention and interest that you weren’t paying attention to the fact that this person was sucking in all this data and sharing absolutely not one damn thing about themselves except lies and trash and trash and more lies. This person is so broken THEY don’t even know what they like.
They got you though. You are a spider in their web. Now, just like your Miranda rights…everything you said CAN AND WILL BE USED AGAINST YOU. Everything they have learned about you during love bombing is now a tool for them to control and manipulate you. Your Daddy abandoning you will now become the ongoing threat of this toxic asshole abandoning you to regain control every time you “step out of line”.
What kind of a monster does this? The kind that lives to ruin others for their own pleasure. Here’s how to avoid getting caught up:
Run, don’t walk away from anyone who does these things:
- Moves way to fast
- Makes promises about the future early on
- Lavishes you with gifts and romantic gestures
- Insists on or initiates constant communication
- Suddenly becomes very critical of you and the things you’ve always done
- Makes unreasonable demands or sets unrealistic expectations
- Expects you to read their mind
- Tells you that you’re crazy or too sensitive
- Makes jokes at your expense
- Loses their temper over something small
All of the things listed above will be explained in depth in future posts ‘cause I’ve got a TON of stories to share with you guys. You’d be surprised the red flags you’re willing to look past in order to continue getting that good-good love bombing. Unfortunately it doesn’t last long. In fact you’ll usually see that mask slip at some point in the first two weeks. I have experienced this myself without fail. It’s usually a test to see how much you’ll take. My advice for you is let that first time be the last time and get the hell outta Dodge! It only gets worse.
Have you ever been love bombed? Share your experiences in the comments.